marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
