when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i think my cat just said my name.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
