This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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