are you so shy because you have an std?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
