I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
