i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
