You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
