Plan B is the new Plan A
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
