Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
