hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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