we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Your penis caused this!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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