Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
