Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
