I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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