so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My ass is underappreciated
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
