i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
