so explain again why im purple
no
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
