get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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