well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
