Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
