Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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