I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
