I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
