Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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