He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
