Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
