Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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