One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
