That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
