I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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