I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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