the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
