this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
