let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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