I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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