YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
