Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
