I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
