ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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