I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
