why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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