He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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