3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
