I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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