i just wanna soil my oats bro
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
