I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
