Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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