you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
