My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
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