Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
