guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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