at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
